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New Romantics

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 August 1980 - the release of Ashes To Ashes, with its groundbreaking video, was a great moment for David Bowie - and propelled the Blitz Kids and others towards the pop scene to form the New Romantics, the first big 1980s music and fashion scene.

20th Century Words by John Ayto traces the term "New Romantic" to 1980. So, what was a New Romantic? Late 1980 saw the emergence of two acts - Adam And The Ants and Spandau Ballet - into the upper echelons of the pop charts. They gave us Ant Music and To Cut A Long Story Short, respectively, and although both songs were very different, the Ants and the Ballet blokes were both heavy on the face make-up and the dashing outfits of years long, long past.

And, suddenly, we were all talking of New Romantics.

1981 brought a flurry of them into our lives - including, of course, Duran Duran and Ultravox. Planet Earth, complete with video, was very typical of the scene - synths, futuristic setting, OTT dandy flounces, lashings of lippy, and bizarre hairdos. The movement crossed over to America and Kim Carnes sent us the divine Bette Davis Eyes

 TV Times, June 1981. How would you feel if your son looked like Adam Ant? If he'd lived where I lived, he'd probably have got seriously punched. But although nobody I knew was brave enough to adopt the image, Adam And The Ants were immensely popular with us lads.

So, the first big new pop sensation of the fledgling 1980s. How did it all begin?

Well, that's not quite what it seems! Read up on it elsewhere and you'll find that it all seems to have originated from a club called The Blitz Club in London, whose patrons paid homage to David Bowie - apparently dubbing themselves "Blitz Kids".

David Bowie, of course, had been exciting the pop scene since 1969, and was very heavy on image. Was he Ziggy Stardust? A Thin White Duke (goodness, I thought that particular image was bloody boring and so retro!), but whatever he was he attracted dedicated followers in droves and his music brought flashes of sheer brilliance. In 1980, David had another one of those flashes - with his Scary Monsters (and Super Creeps) album, and a single which would be included on this album, released in August 1980, although not officially classed as a New Romantic song, was what kick-started the scene. That song was, of course, Ashes To Ashes.

The video (or "promo" as we referred to them back then) was striking and hugely expensive, and featured Steve Strange, who wowed the pop charts in 1981 and 1982 with Visage hits like Fade To Grey and Mind Of A Toy.

But not all of those considered New Romantics in the early 1980s were part of The Blitz Club scene - Adam And The Ants for instance. I can certainly state that I'd never heard of the Blitz and what attracted me to the New Romantic style was that I had simply had enough of the gobbiness and run-down seediness that had dominated the previous decade. Several years before the New Romantics, as I lurched into my teens, I was yearning for something a bit more flash, a bit more stylish. I was depressed with the thick layer of mould up my bedroom wall, my threadbare "make do and mend", often hand-me-down clothes. I craved for glamour and excitement. I'm sure I was not alone! There was simply something in the air - many of us wanted a change. After the likes of Slade shouting their mouths off - as tacky as you please, the sleaziness of the Disco scene and the hopelessness (and, of course big gobbedness) of Punk, plus the oh-so-unoriginal 1970s revivals of 1950s style, 1960s mods and rockers (no thank you, Paul Weller!), plus the '60s ska scene and rockabilly, I was hungry to dress up, desperately hoping that the 1980s would be different.

And they were.

And probably the first manifestation of that was the emergence of the New Romantics in late 1980.

The wonderful Roxy Music, still going strong in the early 1980s, are considered to be an influence on the New Romantics, and I'm sure the group was, but the New Romantics, despite their precursors, were still startling and fresh at the time.

Boy George, of course, was part of the Blitz Club scene, he worked as a cloakroom attendant there, and he was an early New Romantic for sure -  but by the time he made his chart debut in 1982, the New Romantic thing, which had burned fiercely from late 1980 and throughout 1981, had fizzled as far as we the public were concerned. So, The Boy was, at the time, greeted as a stand alone newcomer, a unique individual, loved or loathed. Similarly, A Flock Of Seagulls, who had chart success in late 1982 with Wishing, whilst looking very New Romantic indeed, were not, at the time (as far as I remember!) labelled as such.

Let's hear it for the boy - Boy George, of course - before fame, pictured in the Daily Mirror in April 1981. Although an original New Romantic mover, shaker and trendsetter, by the time he arrived in the pop charts in 1982, the New Romantic scene was just about dead and buried. So, he was regarded simply as Boy George. And his own very personal sense of style inspired admiration, clones, and some homophobia.Soon-to-find-fame George (as seen in the newspaper picture), then simply referred as George O'Dowd, 19, was wearing Chinese slippers (£3.99), old school trousers he'd tapered himself, and leg warmers. A 1920s dress (20p, Oxfam) was draped around his waist. The tassle belts, the long scarf, and Oxfam beads around his neck, cost him a few pence, the crimplene blouse came from his mum and the wooden cross from a friend. A black felt hat and assorted earrings completed his outfit.


Two groups which I was labelling "New Romantic" long after 1981 were Duran Duran and Spandau Ballet. They were always and forever "New Romantics" to me. I loved the way the Duranies dropped the frillies for those gorgeous brightly-coloured suits - and the 1982 Rio video marked a turning point in my own personal fashion statements. 

 A change of image for Duran Duran, seen here in 1981 and 1982. Loved the colourful suits with pushed up sleeves and large shoulders!

Even now, knocking on towards fifty, I still feel a stirring of youthful (if that's possible at my age!) excitement at the thought of the New Romantics and the blossoming synth pop scene of the early 1980s in general. Combined, these two factors were the first indication that 1980s music and fashion were going to be OK for me. And, as it turned out, brilliant!





1984 - Some Things They Said... And An Act Of God At York Minster?

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Ah, 1984... Ronald Reagan won his second term in office as President of the USA; Margaret Thatcher had won her second General Election with a landslide in 1983 and in 1984 she and Arthur Scargill went to war against each other as the miners' strike bit hard; the Grand Hotel bombing nearly ended Mrs T's career. And her life; Boy George was insulted by Princess Margaret; Torvill and Dean thrilled us on the ice skating rink; the Apple Mac arrived - "Hello" - as did TrivialPursuit; bulldog clips were the latest hair craze; break dancing was the main dance craze; Band Aid had a very worthwhile chart hit; and Prince William gained a baby brother - Henry, or Harry, as he was known.

Here's a few quotes from 1984 listed in the Sunday Express 1984 - The Pictures Of The Year magazine...

"The world is swimming in coal." - Ian MacGregor, chairman of the National Coal Board.

"I've even tried to start a rumour that I'm really not that old, that they mixed up the babies in the hospital." - President Ronald Reagan.

"I have a very high success criterion. Monetary values come into it, because I like to live well and I have to earn a lot." - Mark Thatcher accused of exploiting his mother's position.

"Most psychiatrists or analysts are a waste of time." - Boy George.

"Very few overseas visitors are quite sure where Birmingham is." - Michael Montague, chairman of the English Tourist Board.

"It seems silly that more people should see me in 'Jewel In The Crown' than in all my years in theatre." - Dame Peggy Ashcroft.

"If there are to be any explosions in our country, they should take place on the floor of the House of Commons and nowhere else." - Bernard Weatherill, Speaker of the House of Commons.

"If you put things firmly they say you are headmistressy, but they never call a man headmastery." - Margaret Thatcher.

"I know I am going to be President" - Senator Gary Hart.

"No redundancy payment in the world can match the value of a job passed on to the next generation." - Arthur Scargill.

"What is proposed is a monstrous carbuncle on the face of a much-loved and elegant friend." - Prince Charles on the National Gallery extension

"When they address themselves to aesthetic judgements, people fall back on what I regard as very offensive language." - Peter Ahrends, architect of the proposed (and then cancelled) National Gallery extension.

"I won't be photographed with that over-made-up tart." - Princess Margaret on meeting Boy George.

"If men could have babies, they would only ever have one." - Diana, Princess of Wales.

"I just signed legislation that will outlaw Russia forever. We begin bombing in five minutes." - President Reagan during rehearsals for a radio broadcast.

"By all means have a bath or shower as long as you don't forget the object of the exercise is to use less water." - Water Authorities Association.

"The Labour delegates drink gin and tonic. The Conservatives drink beer. Actually the National Union of Students is best for us - they drink lots of Pernod." - Blackpool hotel manager.

"If industrial workers are taking industrial action when they are not working, one wonders what they are doing when they are working" - The Duke of Edinburgh.

"I ended up like some old fag-ash Lil being carted off to the nick." - Angela Wilson, first person to be prosecuted for smoking on the tube.

"This is our last chance for change - because if this doesn't happen we are for the birds." - Bishop Desmond Tutu, winner of the 1984 Nobel Peace Prize.

Some of the above statements seem sane and good, others amusing, others more than slightly bonkers. But that was the '80s!

One of the most memorable quotes listed in the magazine came from Professor David Jenkins, Bishop-elect of Durham, in May:

"I wouldn't put it past God to arrange a Virgin Birth if he wanted. But I don't think he did."

Say what?!! But surely a Bishop-elect of the Church of England must believe?!

But an event some found much odder was soon to come...

The Daily Telegraph 1984 magazine reported:

The previous week had seen the installation at York Minster of the controversial new Bishop of Durham, Professor David Jenkins, who had seemed to many to question fundamental Christian beliefs in his televised remarks about the Virgin Birth and the Resurrection.

Suddenly, out of a clear and calm Sunday sky in July, a bolt of lightning struck the 700-year-old cathedral, starting a spectacular fire that destroyed its 15th-century south transept. Was it an act of God? "I am not," said the Archbishop of Canterbury, "going to put myself in the position of stating where and when there has been divine intervention."

York Minster ablaze in 1984.

Back To The Future Part 2

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Which way to 1985 - and which 1985 will it be?!

From the Sun, 23/11/1989... 

He has soft, shoulder-length auburn hair. His 5ft 4 in frame is draped in a blue blouse and hot pants.

He is Michael J. Fox, who swaps sex for frocks in his latest movie, "Back To The Future 2". 

The 28-year-old heart-throb returns to British [cinema] screens tomorrow as Marty McFly, the small-town boy from California, who's transported to the year 2015 and then all the way back to the Fifties. 

The topsy-turvy time-warp not only calls on Michael to play his own father. It also demands that he turns into a Foxy Lady, depicting his daughter Marlene as a future shocker.

The part called for Michael to wiggle as he walked. Which is probably why he reddens as he talks about the gender-bender role.

"God, it took me an hour to stop myself blushing in that outfit," he says. "But the general consensus was that I was cute and had great legs."

The technology used on the movie to put all his characters together on one screen meant he was playing them all on the same days.

"At least that way they all stayed fresh in my mind," he says. "It was one thing playing a depressed older man and an insane teenage boy but I had to change gear for Marlene.

"I felt completely ridiculous but I could approach it like a character role, not like a guy just dressed up as a girl."

And this is about the right time to explain the mind-boggling plot. First the young hero travels into the future to save his kids from being thrown into jail. He sees his older self there as well as his girlfriend who has become his wife. 

Then he and his scientific sidekick Doc [Christopher Lloyd] return to 1985 to find their town is now a vision of vigilante hell. 

His father has been killed. His school enemy Biff has married his mother. And Fox and friend realise they have taken a wrong time turn and arrived in a different 1985.

So, quite naturally, he travels back in time to 1955 where he finds the bloke he was in the first "Back To The Future", 1985's top-grossing film...

Meanwhile Fox's own future is assured. There's the heavyweight "Casualties of War" also to be screened in Britain...

He has his own production company and there's his son, six-month-old Sam, the major reason why the baby-faced star has grown up.

"All in all I'm pretty happy, " he says. "Heck I'm even changing nappies." 

Which is probably more pleasant than changing sex.

Dressed 1980s Style... And A Question...

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I had brilliant fun today, wearing 1980s style clothes - the skinniest skinny jeans (stonewashed of course!), the nicest linen jacket (with pushed up sleeves), gorgeously coloured trainer laces and a snazzy t-shirt with a very '80s colour scheme. Magnificent, am I not? I've cut my face out because, although I was trying to look like a mean and moody Don Johnson Miami Vice geezer, a good friend told me that the effect I was actually creating was of: "A raddled old buffer with a hangover," and, "The original wreck of '86."

I have such lovely friends.

Anyway, the t-shirt reads: "Shady Pines Retirement Home". Without Googling, do you know where the Shady Pines fits into the '80s scheme of things?

Postbag - 1980s Weetabix Cereal Bowl, Featuring Brian

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An e-mail from Rhys:

I was born in 1980, but I remember when I was little having a Weetabix cereal bowl. Would you have any details of this? I'd love to see it again. It featured the 1980's Weetabix character Brian, who always said "OK!". It was around for years, but I searched my mother's kitchen cupboards recently and it's not there. Mum doesn't remember throwing it out, but thinks she must have done so accidentally at some point over the years.

Hello, Rhys! Thanks for getting in touch. I have an '80s Weetabix breakfast set, with cereal bowl, toast plate and mug, featuring the Neet Weet gang, who appeared in Weetabix ads from March 1982 until November 1989. I think it dates from 1984/1985. I've taken some pics. I hope the cereal bowl is like the one you had, and the photograph of it brings back some memories for you!

Click on the Weetabix label at the bottom of this post for our features on Bixie, Dunk, Brains and Brian - OK!




The 1980s Mobile Phone As A Defensive Weapon!

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The Sun, November 18, 1988.

Yuppie Richard De Vahl didn't hesitate when a mugger attacked him... he clocked him with his mobile phone. The thief collapsed stunned, then fled empty-handed.

Richard, 26, a property consultant, carries his £2,000 phone with him everywhere.

He said yesterday that the black mugger threatened to stab him if he didn't hand over his cash.

Richard, of Fulham, London, added: "I wasn't over-pleased at this, so I smashed my phone over his head.

He reported the incident to local police.

A spokesman said: "We are looking for a man complaining of bells ringing in his head..."

The arrival of the mobile phone in the 1980s was a boon to yuppies.

Images Of The 1980s: Rubik's Cube, Yuppie, Mobile Phone...

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I love this imagery from publicity material for National Geographic's The '80s: The Decade That Made Us series, a look back at my favourite decade from an American perspective. The image features the Rubik's Cube - a re-named and re-manufactured version of an obscure Hungarian puzzle toy (Hungary was then very much behind the Iron Curtain!), released in 1980 and resulting in a HUGE craze which made all others pale into insignificance, a yuppie - acronym for young urban professional - bursting on to the scene in America in the early 1980s to take advantage of Reaganomics - and quickly bursting on to the scene in England to take advantage of Thatcherism, and a brick sized mobile phone - the first, the Motorola 8000x, was unveiled in America in 1983, and the first call in England made by comedian Ernie Wise on 1 January 1985. Such memories! Such colourful times! Please click on the labels below to find out more about Rubik's Cube, yuppies, and mobile phones.

ALF - Alien Life Form...

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Dateline: Mid-1980s...  ALF was created by puppeteer Paul Fusco. In 1986, he crash landed his space craft into the garage of the Tanner family...

LikeKnight Rider, the American TV comedy series ALF (1986-1990) slipped by me almost unnoticed on life's glittering 1980s high road. So, as with the '80s Actual feature on Michael and the very fabulous KITT, I turned to a good friend of mine for help, in this case Mandy, who loves the ALF series so much she is still brimming over with enthusiasm about it all these years on! The post below takes the form of questions from me and answers from Mandy...

Who was ALF? What did A-L-F stand for?

ALF (real name Gordon Shumway) was a furry alien from the planet Melmac. He crash landed into the garage of the Tanner family. When Brian (son) asked what 'it' was, Willie Tanner (father) replied, "It's an ALF," (an acronym for Alien Life Form). ALF was mischievous, cynical, and above all a prankster. He is best known for his sarcasm. He did care for the Tanners though and his heart was in the right place (in his ear to be precise).

Who were the Tanner family?

The Tanner family consisted of Willie (father), Kate (mother), Lynn (teenage daughter) and a young son called Brian. Oh, and not forgetting their cat, Lucky. Lucky lived a hazardous existence as cats were a delicacy on Melmac, but the Tanners' No. 1 rule was "we don't eat members of the family". This didn't deter ALF from trying his luck though!!

Where did they live? Were there any other main characters in the show apart from the Tanners and ALF?

The Tanners lived at 167 Hemdale in the San Fernando Valley of L.A. Other main characters in the show were the Ochmoneks, Raquel and Trevor (very nosey and annoying neighbours). ALF befriended a blind woman called Jody who never knew he was an alien - she just thought he was a bit weird. There was also Kate's mother, Dorothy, who would threaten to turn ALF over to the Alien Task Force.

What was the story-line?

ALF's planet, Melmac, has been destroyed in a nuclear war. He follows a signal to Earth and crash lands into the Tanners' garage. The Tanners are unable to bring themselves to turn ALF into the authorities (the Alien Task Force) with the fear of them experimenting on him, so they hide him in their home. They soon begin to develop affection for him, and he has a strong bond with the kids, although Kate takes more convincing. ALF has to adapt to life on Earth and the constant learning process frequently gets him in trouble. Despite all ALF's antics, there was a rather sad undertone to the show as ALF's planet had been destroyed and he missed his friends. He always dreamed of being reunited with them.

What did you think of the show? What did it mean to you at the time?

ALF was very funny, very funny indeed. This short little alien with burnt orange fur was so endearing. I was always amazed at the variety of his facial expressions, which for a puppet were truly remarkable. I eagerly awaited every new episode and was a real fan. Buying presents for me at that time was so easy, just get something with the old ALFer on it! I had posters, mugs, t-shirts, key rings, books and my favourite, a big talking ALF (which still has pride of place in my home). The odd ALF phrase still slips out in conversation to this day. The show was aimed at kids but some of the jokes had very adult tones. The show also courted a lot of controversy, with ALF seen drinking alcohol with Brian, and ALF's taste for cats. My favourite ALF clip is when he is singing along to Bob Segar's Old Time Rock and Roll; it's typical ALF!

 Did you ever watch  other 1980s American shows (Hill Street Blues, Cagney & Lacey, The Golden Girls, Roseanne, Kate and Allie, Married With Children, etc)? How did ALF rank against other '80s American TV shows in your opinion?

Other American '80s shows were good at the time, and I watched a few. I really don't get the same enjoyment when I watch them now, with the exception of Hill Street Blues, which was a brilliant programme. Hill Street Blues was an entirely different type of show, so trying to compare ALF with the likes of shows of that stature is very difficult. All I can say is I would not purchase other such shows on DVD, but would buy the entire four seasons of ALF in a heartbeat!

Thanks so much, Mandy. Now, Mr Shumway, let's take a look at you (Andrew blasts off to YouTube)....







EastEnders 1986: Dot Cotton Writes...

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June Brown first appeared as Dot Cotton, chain smoking launderette attendant of the EastEnders serial, in episode 40, broadcast in July 1985. By 1986, Mrs Cotton and the show were wildly popular, but as usual in the Albert Square saga, misery could never be far away. June's portrayal of Dot was sheer genius right from the start, the character is now a TV legend up there with all the greats, but even back in the early days, poor old Dot was plagued by misery.

On 28th July 1986, Miss Brown replied to a fan letter with what at first sight appeared to be a standard letter, but the standard ending was crossed out, and Miss Brown added some insights of life as Dot at that time, in her own warm and friendly style:

I'm very glad that you like old Dot - she's getting a bit sad at the moment but I told the writers that I shall lose all my fans if they don't give her some funny stuff as well - so, here's hoping! 

Love, 

June (Brown)

Of course, Dot got an occasional slice of comedy, but in the main her life was miserable. Still, there were some good things. She had her son, Nick, and husband, Charlie, for a start. And then there was her old pal, Lou Beale, to pop round and see whenever she needed some advice...
 

Smash Hits: Always Read The Black Type First...

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Howard Jones and a lovely brolly (£2-99 - a snip!) star on a 1985 "Smash Hits" cover...

Lovely freebies...
Mid-1980s "Smash Hits" hilarity...

Black Type was essential reading for me in the 1980s. The Smash Hits letters pages were loaded with the drollest of droll wit and irony and I'd beg a look at my younger sister's copy of that worthy mag every time I visited my parents' house. Once I even wrote in and had a letter published myself.

To me, the 1980s were a fabulous time for music. I loved the polished pop, the synth era, the evolvement of rap into the Hip Hop scene, the beginnings of House music, Acid House, and the Dance and Rave scenes.

But I certainly had no desire to drool over pop stars and booster their (often) already massive egos. In the 1970s, we kids got into pop young and I had a cousin who subjected the whole family to her dreadful fixations with the likes of Donny Osmond, the Bay City Rollers and John Travolta.

"Oh, Andy, Woody writes to his Mum every week - isn't he sweet!" (or some such tosh) she'd squawk as she clutched the latest "must-have" fan mag. And it really got on my nerves.

So, I developed a healthy cynicism about pop stars and pop music at an early age. My cousin didn't. As a young married mum in the mid-1980s, she was squawking: "Ooh, Jon Bon Jovi! Did you know that's all his own hair?! He's sooo lovely..." etc, etc, etc.

But my tongue was firmly in my cheek when it came to the pop scene (although I adored a lot of the music) and the Smash Hits letters pages were heaven for me as they often left the subject of pop far behind (how do you spell achtuwarly?).

Black Type, the mysterious letters page editor, who seemed like a bit of a wally, would often wax lyrical about his latest obsession (who would it be this week? Una Stubbs? Bonnie Langford?) and there were enthralling exchanges about Harpic Bleachmatic Duo ads. Amongst other things.

In fact, the whole tone of Smash Hits back then was just sooo droll (remember ' "pop" "star" Simon Le Bon'?), nothing could ever compete. Ever. And on top of all that the mag had Neil Tennant (pre-Pet Shop Boys fame) on its journalistic staff.

Wonderful.-------------

Coronation Street: Alf Roberts In The 1980s...

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From the TV Times, 27 September - 3 October 1986:

Alf's got it right 

Grumbling may be one of the characteristics of Coronation Street's Alf Roberts, played by Bryan Mosley, but his corner store is top-of-the-shops for service according to a recent national survey.

A shopfitting group's study says Alf has got it just right with his sense of service, and many other grocers in the North of England follow his example.

 You know, for all the changes in the world of TV soap opera in the 1980s - the arrivals of Brookside and EastEnders - resulting in a more political (often very Left Wing) and "in yer face" approach which soon began to infiltrate the older soaps - some things remained constant. One of those was Alfred Roberts of Coronation Street. He'd first appeared in the soap way back in the 1960s, and there he was throughout the 1980s, a central figure in the ongoing saga, stood there behind the counter of the Corner Shop - and, indeed, taking on solitary command of the place.

These days, Coronation Street seems to harbour lots of villains - even serial killers are not unknown - and buildings explode and people die horribly and there's generally a lot of aggro. The '80s "gritty"approach has given way to sheer sensationalism.

One building which exploded in more recent years was the Street's Corner Shop, blown-up by a mad woman.

Back in the 1980s, such a story-line would have seemed absurd.

For almost the entire decade - from mid-1980 onwards - the shop was solely owned by the aforementioned Mr Alfred Sidney Roberts (Bryan Mosley).

Alf's wife, Renee (Madge Hindle), died in a road accident in the summer of 1980, and Alf decided to continue at the shop.

He took on Deirdre Langton (Anne Kirkbride) as shop flat tenant and shop assistant later in 1980, and so began Deirdre's long, on-off association with the Corner Shop.

1985 Corner Shop mug. The shop sign bore the name "Alfred Roberts" from 1981 to 1985, when Alf had the shop converted into a mini market. The sign over the frontage then read "CORNER SHOP" and "ALF'S MINI MARKET" was emblazoned on the front window.

 Changing times at the Corner Shop... two views from 1985.

Alf brought tremendous change to the shop in 1985, when he masterminded its conversion into a mini market.

He continued to sell barm cakes though. Part of the shop's "soul" they were, he said. Yep, old Alfie loved the Corner Shop!

Twice widowed Alf was never happy alone, and 1985 also saw him marrying the brilliantly squawky Audrey Roberts, marking actress Sue Nicholls' graduation from occasional to full time regular Corrie character. Audrey didn't really like the Corner Shop,  just saw it as a necessary evil to keep the dosh rolling in. She assisted there as little as possible, and once wreaked havoc when she was let loose with the pricing gun.

All in all, awful Audrey led Alf a merry dance - turning his life upside down with her spend, spend, spend attitude and a ready-made family.

Audrey was most unhappy living in the flat above the Corner Shop, and wanted to move somewhere more befitting her new station in life. She was not best pleased when Alf bought No 11 Coronation Street, but decided to make the best of things.

In 1987, local independent councillor Alf faced a challenge from Deirdre Barlow, who campaigned with a faintly feminist agenda and a concern for local kids and road safety issues.

Deirdre won, and Alf suffered a heart attack.

Also in 1987 Alf employed Sally Webster (Sally Dynevor) as his assistant at the shop.

"I don't care what you say - boot polish isn't as good as it was in the old days - nowhere near!" Percy Sugden (Bill Waddington) gets on Alf's wick.

In 1989, Audrey made a determined attempt to get away from Coronation Street, persuading Alf to buy a posh house in another part of Weatherfield.

But the chain collapsed, and the couple were forced to move back into the Corner Shop flat as No 11 had been sold to the MacDonald family.

But as the 1990s arrived, Audrey finally got her wish, and she and Alf relocated to Grasmere Drive.

Alf and his years at the Corner Shop are now distant memories, but there's no doubt that they are remembered fondly by many Corrie fans.

Was Alf a mean man? Well, maybe a little, but it must said that after he died Audrey was dismayed to discover that there was rather less money than she had thought. It seemed that his caution had been justified and perhaps he'd let her have her way with the dosh rather too much.

Could Alf get wound up? Ooh, yes - he definitely had a slightly short fuse.

But most of all, Alf was a kind and decent man, a good friend and neighbour to many and a respected part of the Weatherfield community.

After the character died, I suddenly realised just how much I liked Alf, and just what a necessary role he had fulfilled in the show - as an everyday man in an area noted for its beautifully OTT characters.

Alf was everyday, none of his traits were terribly colourful or outstanding, he never set the screen alight with his exploits.

And yet I never found him boring - thoroughly enjoying the stability he brought to the show.

E-Mails: 1980s Flexi-Lamps, And A Sharp Radio, TV, Cassette Combination...

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Laura has written for help in dating a couple of items she has recently found in her store room.

Both look '80s, but I'd love to be able to date them properly!

Well, Laura, going on the descriptions you sent, I think the red domed flexi desk lamp you mention came from Habitat, first appearing as "New" in the 1982/1983 catalogue. It was available in red or black.

The Sharp TV, radio, cassette combination stumped me at first, but I think I've found it in the Spring/Summer Brian Mills mail order catalogue. Hope these are the items you have!


Capturing The 1980s Sporty Look...

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Fashion snobs like to call this Adidas top "classic" (don't mention the '80s), but actually it's pure 1980s.

Pete has written:

OK then, you say the 1980's were great for fashions! How would I wear an 80's sporty look without looking like a complete and utter dick head in a shell suit type thing?

Like the above! I wore this today and it's glorious. It dates from the mid-1980s when sportswear was becoming more colourful and the "80s casuals" thing was in full swing. The colour scheme and design was new and groundbreaking, and simply screams "1984! 1985! 1986! 1987!" Wear and enjoy! Similar designs do crop up on on-line auction sites now. Keep a look out!




1980s TV Ads: Shredded Wheat - "Bet You Can't Eat Three!", Nina Myskow and Ian "Beefy" Botham...

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One of the most successful  and best-remembered TV ad campaigns of the 1980s was for the breakfast cereal Shredded Wheat, featuring several screen and sports stars, and the tagline "Bet You Can't Eat Three!"

News Of The World TV columnist Nina Myskow launched into one of the ads' stars, England cricketer Ian Botham, in 1983 whilst the ad campaign was in full swing. 

What, I wonder has the cricketing disaster Down Under done for the sales of Shredded Wheat, so heavily advertised by Ian Botham on telly? And yes, his bum does look as if he's stuffing down at least three at each sitting. Does a spoonful now turn to Ashes in his mouth?

Ouch, Ms M! The gentler sex? Oh, yeah... Poor old Beefy...



Memories of 1983 - Jimmy The Hoover - Tantalise...

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I've been thinking a lot about 1983 lately. I have my reasons! But a good one I can share with you is the fact that the summer of 1983 was much nicer than this one! And tangled up with the memories of that summer is the refrain "Wo Wo Ee Yeh Yeh" - courtesy of Jimmy The Hoover, an English pop band which had formed in 1982. Seems so strange to think that 1983 is thirty years ago. I'm getting old! But the memories of my youth remain strong and stop me from feeling TOO old! By the wonder of YouTube, enjoy Jimmy The Hoover above.

More 1980s Sports Wear For Men - The Way Things Changed - 1981 And 1989....

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UGH! 1981! Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear... "Sporty mix 'n' match separates in a comfortable jersey-knit with 'tennis' motif". Never fear. As the 1980s continued, sportswear would never look the same again. Thank heavens.

Some of these aren't too bad... but hardly exciting.

In fact, 1981 was simply not very exciting in the world of sportswear. And just look at that dreadful bubble perm (far right)! Still (smiles fondly), good old Fred Perry!

1989 - the ultimate year of the 1980s - "The Style Decade" - and sportswear was certainly stylish by then. So much had changed since 1981. All the designs featured are SO much of the era. And that lad in the second pic looks like he's finding the fact a painful experience. Makes me eyes water.

Tragically, by 1989, many of us were on pose overdrive. But never mind. Those tracksuit designs are now called "classic" and highly sought after. Classic? They're pure 1980s, darlings! But fashion snobs HATE acknowledging the fact! Nevertheless, these designs are very influential and popular today. And I LOVE them!

Le coq sportif. By 1989, some even quite working class men were going to the gym! Sports clothes for men had become colourful, modern, designer. So handy for getting down to a serious workout. Or nipping out to the corner shop for a packet of fags.

1980s Fashions... Suitable Trends For Today?

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1986 - posing overdrive for women...

 Looking around, I see many 1980s-influenced fashions around me. The leggings. The deelyboppers. The blonde hair streaks. The gelled or moussed look. '80s sportswear-influenced designs on outdoor coats and modern sportswear. Stone and acid washed jeans. The turned back/pushed up jacket sleeve look. I've even seen jelly shoes! And lots more... 

Clearly (although many hate to admit it) the '80s are now highly influential in the modern fashion world. Here's a few tips from a few UK mail order catalogues of the 1980s for those who want to get the look just right... 


Male posing for the 1980s... the trouble with the pushed up sleeve effect is that they keep coming down. The '80s look is very high maintenance indeed. Try walking with your arms close to your side, or buying a jacket with a nice contrasting inner lining so that you can solve the problem by turning back your sleeves instead of pushing them up.


Where Jane Fonda first flew in 1982 with her Workout video, others soon followed. Aerobics woz 'ere. In fact, as the '80s went on, sport and fitness became a positive mania, and sportswear became ever more colourful and expensive as we entered the era of designer sports fashions. Fit for business. Fit for life.


"It's my broker!" This bloke looks like a right yuppie, doesn't he? Love the suit. So very stylish... And by the mid-1980s, style was what it was all about. Well, the '80s idea of style, that  was.


 Some great mid-1980s winter warmth jackets. I had the one on the left!

 Lustre look sheen fabric... the '80s shiny suit... brill! I've still got one of mine, a grey one with over large shoulders, and recall sliding down the wall at Tracy's Nite Spot in it after quaffing back a bit too much of the Reassuringly Expensive Stella Artois, circa 1987. I'd been leaning against the wall nonchalantly, eyeing up the talent, glass in hand, when I felt my descent begin.  I managed not to spill a drop.


"Hello, is Giles there please? It's his broker calling."


"Giles, it's your broker!"

"Tell him I'm in the bog, would you purlease, mateyboots?"

Something for 1986 kids. I'm absolutely positive that the lad on the left is (then) future pop star Chesney Hawkes (remember that rascally early 1990s hit The One And Only? We do. But we wish we didn't).


Late 1980s - terrific designs for posey male sportswear, hugely influential on the 1990s, and still influencing today's sports fashions.


1989... Come on, lads, altogether now: PHWOAR!!! Remember, this is 1989, and while the politically correct era is beginning, it doesn't rule yet!


Making a splash in '89...


Black leggings, ending around the knee, swept into fashion around 1982. And were still up there in 1989.


More from 1989. That belt looks really industrial, doesn't it? What did it mean? Search me...


And a last blast from 1989... Hot off the beach... WOW!

But suppose you've seen all these delights, you've thought it all through, and you don't want to adopt ANY of these swingorilliant  '80s trends?

Well, suit yourself.

There's no accounting for taste...

BANG! How The 1980s Began... Tabloid Snippets From The First Two Years...

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1980 - Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps Please... The anthem of that summer. LOVE IT!!!! Listen to it whilst you're reading through this article - it'll help bring that early 1980s vibe flooding back...

"TWO PINTS OF LAGER AND A PACKET OF CRISPS PLEASE!" we all squawked in the summer of 1980. This was thanks to Splodgenessabounds, of course. 

June 24, 1980:

Britain's most outrageous punk group have rocked into the charts with their first single.

The band, Splodgenessabounds, pour out four letter words, show their bare bottoms and break wind on stage.

Their recording of Simon Templar has reached No. 7 only four weeks after its release.

But it is the B-side - a song called Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps, Please - which has caught on with the fans.

The group's founder, lead singer Max Splodge, 21, said in London last night: "Before I take my trousers down and moon, I always take a special powder so that I can break wind effectively."

The only person in the eight-strong band without a bare bottom role is girl singer Baby Greensleeves, 22.

Baby, who sometimes takes her dog Two Pints to the group's concerts, said: "I'd moon as well, but it would take too much time because of the gear I wear."

And what was the song about? Some desperate young lad trying to get served in a packed-out pub. Been there so many times. Mind you, if I'd been a barmaid/bloke, I probably wouldn't have served me either.

Max Splodge, Two Pints... writer and singer, spilled the beans about the song years later:

"One night I rushed into The Crown in Chislehurst waving a pound note, trying to buy two pints of lager and a packet of crisps. The bell rang and the bloke wouldn't serve me. The guys in the band were out of their heads on magic mushrooms and thought this was hysterical. The next day I put down a drum track and bass line and just shouted, 'two pints of lager and a packet of crisps...' Mike Reid played it on Radio 1 and it started selling 17,000 copies a day. No one could believe it. It sold a quarter of a million copies and got to No 7."


Cor, the '80s were starting out dead posh, weren't they? 

 Splodgenessabounds' wonderful 1980 anthem on glorious vinyl, tucked away on the B-side with Michael Smith's Talking Bum.



 1981 - England's burning...

Well, of course, we all remember the Style Decade! The glitzy 1980s! Yuppies! Docklands developments! Big Bang! The Credit Boom! Big hair and shoulder pads!

Ho, ho, weren't they up themselves, mateyboots?

Well, actually, one of the things that fascinates me the most about the 1980s is what a turbulent and contrasting decade it was, and nothing speaks louder about that than the good old tabloid newspapers of the era, those we propped up against the Daddy's Sauce bottle as we read and gronffed down our egg and chips early in the decade, or against the bottle of fancy salad dressing as we read and gronffed down our beautifully prepared Nouvelle Cuisine later on.

Let's continue to trawl through some early 1980s tabloid snippets... no yuppies. No mobile phones. Three TV channels and Top of The Pops on Thursday nights...

In my street, none of the school leavers stayed on to sixth form or had the remotest desire to attend university. Oh no, we wanted out of school, and that was the way it had been for us, the lower working classes, the great unwashed, forever. During the 1980s, this would begin to change, but when I left school it certainly wasn't the case. Unemployment had been a problem for years, and with Thatcher focusing on inflation, the number of jobless folk was accelerating through the roof in the early 1980s. But we poor sods had no thought of "staying on" - and it would not have been financially viable for parents round my district anyway.

No yuppies in the early 1980s, no credit boom... riots, royals, CB radio, New Romantics, Space Invaders, and Rubik's Cube were the new trends popping one by one onto the scene.

One writer referred to "The Swinging Sixties And Savage Seventies". As the 1980s got underway, I wondered if they would be remembered as "The Aggro Eighties"? Actually, there was a lot of aggro THROUGHOUT the 1980s, so perhaps it's a worthy title, but so much else happened in that ten years that there are many others!

Anyway, sit back and continue (hopefully) to enjoy this visit to 1980 and 1981, via the Daily Mirror...

1981 - "There's Going To Be A Rumble Tonight"...The riots... in 1980, there was some trouble, centred around racial tensions, a youth leader commented he'd seen it coming for fifteen years or so. In 1981, inner cities burned and shops were plundered as trouble makers, opportunists, political activists and bored youths joined in.

July 9, 1981:

Hours before the latest explosion of mob violence in North London, the word was passed around: "There's going to be arumble tonight!"

The news spread rapidly through local pubs, youth clubs and even school playgrounds.

It resulted in a crowd of around 400 youths converging on Wood Green and turning it into a battlefield of looting and rioting.

Yesterday police, community leaders and shopkeepers - who were robbed of thousands of punds' worth of goods - were in no doubt that the mob was well organised.

More than six hours before the eruption, the Daily Mirror was warned that trouble was about to break out.

A man, who refused to give his name, phoned the Mirror to say: "There will be trouble in Wood Green High Road tonight."

The caller explained that he had overheard a group of youths in a North London pub boasting that they were going to "take on the police".

At about the same time, police themselves heard about the impending violence.

This was revealed yesterday to local police Commander Jim Dickenson.

He said: "It was obviously organised by somebody.

"You don't get hundreds of people massing in one place by coincidence."

Haringey Council leader Robin Young also got a tip-off hours before.

He said: "Undoubtedly it was all pre-arranged. The word went round that there was going to be a rumpus."

Youths in orgy of plunder

Moss Side

Shopkeepers were last night counting the cost of mob violence which exploded in Moss Side, Manchester, early yesterday.

Mobs of youths threw petrol bombs, smashed windows and looted shops, leaving a trail of damage estimated at £300,000.

They stoned fireman who were forced to retreat and watch helplessly as two shops were gutted...

In Liverpool, 25 people - the youngest aged eleven - appeared in court following the Toxteth riots.

They were charged with offences ranging from assaults on police to criminal damage. Most of the adults charged were remanded in custody.

Meanwhile, the BBC was apparently giving instructions on Radio 2 on how to make a Molotov cocktail. Good grief!

Wednesday, July 8, 1981: 

A bomb boob on JY show

The BBC blundered yesterday by broadcasting how to make a petrol bomb.

BBC community relations correspondent John Clare, who has been covering the Liverpool riots, described the ingredients of a Molotov cocktail on Jimmy Young's Radio 2 show.

The BBC received a number of complaints and Jimmy made an apology later in his show.

On the same day, a letter published in the Mirror's Public Opinion section asked an interesting question...

As I lived in Toxteth until about two years ago, the riots there are less of a surprise to me than most. It was obvious that the levels of social deprivation I witnessed could not continue without some reaction sooner or later.

I wonder, though, why riots have only broken out now under a Tory Government.


Ted Heath and the Left Wing Mirror were well and truly on Thatcher's case, and Lady Di caused shock amongst traditionalists as Royal Wedding fever raged...

 Thursday, July 2, 1981:

Lady Diana Spencer will NOT promise to obey Charles when they marry on July 29.

She will pledge herself only to "love him, comfort him, honour and keep him, in sickness and in health" at the ceremony at St Paul's Cathedral.

Her decision after talks with Prince Charles and the Archbishop of Canterbury, Dr Robert Runcie, breaks with the tradition followed by Queen, Princess Margaret and Princess Anne.

But it delighted women's libbers like Nell Noell of the Women's Rights Movement.

But Lady Di didn't go far enough for Nell, who said: "I hope she will avoid the humiliation of using her husband's name.

"She should stick to name she was born with and not agree to be called Princess Charles."

Flippin' 'eck! The times were changing, however, quite frankly I couldn't have cared less about the Royal Wedding. But what's that at the bottom of the front page? The topless Mary Poppins? Good grief! SURELY NOT?!!!

Eeeek!

Thursday, July 2, 1981:

AT LAST.. this is the moment when sugary British star Julie Andrews loses all her inhibitions and Mary Poppins finally pops out.

Julie plays a fading Mary Poppins-type actress in her new film, SOB, the story of the machinations of the Hollywood film moguls.

She is called on to go topless in a movie to save the studio from going bust.

It's quite a wrench for the poor girl, but finally she is convinced that fans will pack the box offices if she is seen in the bare flesh.

There is another eye-popping scene where she bares her bottom for a quack doctor to inject her with a muscle-relaxant drug so she can pluck up courage to peel off for the cameras.

What did Julie think of her part in the film, directed by husband Blake Edwards? "It gave me quite a kick," she said.

That nice Mary Poppins certainly wouldn't have approved.

I was so shocked, I nearly passed me fags round. 

In other news... Ronald Reagan was elected President of the USA in November 1980. He was shot in 1981, but survived.

Oh well, we'll watch Wimbledon! In 1981, Wimbledon was a bastion of tradition, a far more staid, and in fact downright posh, affair than it is today. The perfect retreat from the stresses of the highly modern early 1980s world.

Oh yeah?!!!!


"You CANNOT be serious!" John McEnroe was making waves as he dragged Wimbledon out of the highly polite "More Tea Vicar?" 1930s and into the brash, "In-Yer-Face" 1980s....

Lady Diana Spencer watched at Wimbledon yesterday as tennis superbrat John McEnroe smashed his way into the final with a volley of abuse.

Lady Diana, a keen tennis fan, was a surprise visitor to Wimbledon. She was given a standard ovation when she arrived in the Royal box.

Then the 14,000-strong crowd watched in amazement as McEnroe made thirteen loud comments to the umpire and shouted obscenities at spectators.

The behaviour on court brought a public warning and penalty point with the possibility of a £5,000 fine.

And twenty minutes after his semi-final victory, over Australia's Rod Frawley, the fiery American was still at it. 

He stormed out of a press conference after calling newsmen "liars" and "trash".

McEnroe's first-set public warning for unsportsmanlike behaviour came when he suddenly bellowed: "I hate umpires. I get screwed by them in this place."

In the final set he lost a penalty point for shouting, "You are a disgrace to mankind."  The umpire took it as an insult, but McEnroe later said he had been talking to himself.

At the press conference McEnroe's first explosion came when he was asked whether the return to New York of his girlfriend, Stacy Margolin, meant they had split up.

The 22-year-old New Yorker shouted: "People like you make me sick. It is none of your business in the first place and the answer is no."

He went on: "You guys are sh*t and trash and I want you to quote me on that."

During McEnroe's outburst Lady Diana's name was mentioned. He suddenly paused and said: "She's a terrific person."

Before sweeping out of the room McEnroe told reporters: "I don't want to waste time on low people like you."

The uproar continued after the star's exit when a fight broke out between two newsmen - a Britain and an American - which sent chairs and microphones flying.

 Phew, feel quite exhausted after this little trip back... Time to go and have a cuppa and a quick play with my ZX 80, I think. More soon...

E-Mails: Henry's Cat, 1980s Tabloids, And Sportswear...

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Dinky has written to say he/she is fed up:

Why no Henry's Cat here? It was a brilliant '80s cartoon, first broadcast in 1982, and from the fabulous Bob Godfrey and Stan Hayward stable. I like this site because it really does try to resurrect the 1980s on its own, no "cut and paste" from other sites here, but to leave out Henry's Cat and Chris Rabbit, etc, is an abomination!

Heck, Dinky! I would say "sorry", but Henry's Cat IS mentioned on this blog! You can read it here.

Furthermore, we'll be revisiting Henry's Cat, Chris Rabbit, etc, at a later date. Of the Bob Godfrey/Stan Hayward cartoons, Henry's Cat was our absolute favourite. We recently had an e-mail about the children's series Press Gang as well, which began late in the decade. We've never actually seen that, but we have put it on our list to study for possible future inclusion here.

Helen writes:

I love your feature on the tabloids of 1980/1981. What a turbulent time it was! Is there any chance of more tabloid material? It really ignites a feeling of "being there" for me.

Thanks, Helen. There will be more.

And, finally, Waldo says:

The '80s sportswear posts are a dream come true for me as I love the fashions of that decade and they help me to know what is what on eBay. Can we expect more stuff like this?

You can, Waldo! I must say, the '80s were such a packed decade, it is hard to please everybody and to pack everything in. Each year seems to be bursting at the seams with trends and events. But we'll continue trawling the decade and bringing what we can to '80s Actual. If only we didn't have a day job!



"Language, Timothy!" "Sorry, Father!" - The Adventures Of Timothy Lumsden

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Sorry! - the novel. Ronnie Corbett as hapless librarian Timothy Lumsden is the cover star. Timothy desperately wanted to leave home, and sought "full board without scotch eggs".

Towards the end of 1980, Ronnie Corbett, the little one of Two Ronnies fame, was recording the pilot of what he later described as an "everyday sitcom" at the BBC. Although the Two Ronnies was still up and running, Ronnies Barker and Corbett had an agreement with the BBC that individual projects would be provided for them as comedic actors in their own right.

 The "everyday sitcom" pilot in production in late 1980 would never see the light of day. It wasn't deemed good enough.

It was whilst recording this destined-for-the-dumper pilot, that Ronnie Corbett was introduced to a brand new character, written especially for him, by writers Ian Davidson and Peter Vincent.

Enter, Timothy Lumsden! Timothy Christopher Robin Lumsden, to be precise.

Ronnie was happy. The BBC was happy. The pilot of the other show disappeared, never to be seen on-screen. And Sorry! went straight into production - for a full seven episode series, no pilot needed!

Interior scenes were filmed at the BBC in London, and the exterior for the small town setting for Timothy's exploits was provided by Wallingford in Oxfordshire.

In March 1981, the series went on-air.

Timothy Lumsden was a very English little man, who would instinctively apologise if somebody bumped into him, trod on his toe, etc. And Ronnie Corbett, himself every inch a Scot, made this character live and breathe.

It was a brilliant performance.

Of course, Ronnie Corbett was already famous, but Timothy looked a bit different early on. Slightly more hair. Slightly curlier. Ronnie later commented: "I wore a false piece on top of my hair to make me look a bit curlier, but I don't know why I bothered with that." For me, it was useful because I was already a Ronnie Corbett fan, and loved watching him (particularly his "sit down" act on The Two Ronnies!), but the hair served to set Timothy Lumsden slightly apart, and I found it useful in establishing the character as a separate entity from the Two Ronnies performer.

 What initially warmed me to this series was its excellently drawn characters and the writers' obvious knowledge of what makes people tick - the relationships between the Lumsden family members were brilliantly observed. 

 Detail from the opening titles of Sorry!

Librarian Timothy was not always good with words - he got tongue tied, rambling and flustered at the drop of a hat when in the presence of any woman he liked (his mother had kept him off school the day his class did page 44 in biology), but he was a witty and kind man nonetheless. He was also an Ovalteeny and something of an unlikely hero - saving his godson from a bully, reuniting a runaway daughter with her father, saving a circus troupe from the bailiffs, putting aside the fact that he was going on a date with the woman of his dreams in order to save an elderly neighbour's house from being burgled...

Timothy's big problem was his mother - Mrs Phyllis Lumsden. At the start of the series he was forty-one. But Mummykins still treated him as though he was about five. She cooed at him. She lambasted him, she was always telling him to "stop showing off!", and wasn't averse to clouting him on occasion. She kept asking him if he was constipated. She wanted to make sure he had clean "handy-pandies" before he ate his dinner. She sent him to bed if he misbehaved. She cut his porridge into soldiers for him.

"WHAT?!" you explode. Or perhaps yawn. I dunno what kind of mood you're in today, so I really can't say.

Well, yes, I reply,  I know that cutting bread or toast into soldiers is far more common. But then Mrs Lumsden's porridge was decidedly uncommon. Thank goodness. Which leads us neatly onto the subject of her cooking skills. Or rather lack of them. Mrs L was still living in the war and post-war years of rationing - she still had two boxes of powdered egg in the larder. "Waste not, want not!" was her motto, and leftovers were a speciality. Left over Twiglets and scotch eggs for breakfast? Why not? And what about last Tuesday's spotted dick?

Timothy couldn't break the ties of his mother's apron strings. Even when he seemed close to it, he sometimes scuppered his own efforts because the suffocating bonds were just too tight.

Mrs Lumsden clung on to the past (note the ancient cut-price tin of Zam-Buk in the bathroom) and tried to make sure her son Timothy never grew up. She was so out-of-touch that, when Timothy presented her with an elaborate wrought iron shoe scraper as a present, she tentatively asked: "Is it a video game?"

It seemed appropriate that one of Mrs Lumsden's relatives had invented flypaper. 

 Actress Barbara Lott found fame as monstrous mummy Mrs Lumsden in Sorry!

Mrs Lumsden's daughter, Muriel (Marguerite Hardiman), had broken free and married and Mrs L had never really forgiven her. And Muriel's husband, Kevin (Derek Fuke), well... his eyes were far too close together...

And we all know what that means (incidentally, did you know that eyebrows which meet in the middle are a sign of a "gold digger", and that small ear lobes are a sign of "not a very nice person"? Timothy did).

Whilst we're off on a tangent, was Mrs Nugent Is Coming To Tea a record by Soft Cell?

Muriel committed terrible crimes in her mother's kitchen - like throwing away the J-cloth (Mrs Lumsden believed this should be a yearly event) and descaling the kettle (Mrs L was convinced the tea would taste dreadful because of that). Muriel even threw away the wall calendar in 1981 - "It's not November 1980 anymore!" The photograph of helpless little puppy dogs  had caused Mrs Lumsden not to move beyond that month and year.  She loved helpless little puppy dogs, did Mrs L.

Muriel fell out with her mother regularly, but knew her well, in fact, had similar steel in her own personality. But she was very much in opposition and determined to get her brother out into the world if she possibly could. Far easier said than done!

Timothy's father, Sidney (William Moore), had long retired from the Water Board and even longer accepted his wife's rule. At first glance, he simply seemed to echo her authoritarian stance on occasion - "Language, Timothy!" he'd say, usually when Timothy had said something completely innocent, or, "Bolshie, Timothy! Mrs Lumsden berated him and sent him out to his shed or the garden (smoking was only allowed beyond the compost heap) and generally ruled him with a rod of iron. But we quickly learned that there was a warmer, kinder side to Mr L, and he was often an ally and confidante for Timothy.

Tim frequented the local pub, and often met his old pal, Frank Baker (Roy Holder), there. Frank was another ally, urging Tim to break away from his mother. Unlike Tim, Frank was just your average guy, unhampered by a monstrous mater. He married, started a family, and generally lived life as millions upon millions of men live it. Sometimes he grew frustrated with Tim, but he showed such patience and restraint it was obvious that he really cared.

Apart from that dreadful time in 1982 when he hit Tim with a shepherd's pie.

Frank provided a useful bit of grounding to the show, along with the local pub scenario, including Jean (Jennifer Franks) the barmaid, as Sorry! sometimes leapt away into the surreal. Did Timothy have a guardian angel (see the episode It's A Wonderful Life, Basically), for instance? Or was he simply going a bit strange and imagining things after all those lonely years of oppression?

Timothy had a few more near misses when it came to matrimony, but the closer he got to finding true love, the more desperate his mother became to thwart him. She wasn't above enlisting the aid of her friend Dulcie Barrable (Mavis Pugh) in her attempts to spoil her son's escape plans, and once even faked her own death. Some of the later episodes had a faintly sinister tinge, and the surreal aspects of the plot increased. But would good win through in the end? 

In 1988, now aged forty-eight,Timothy bought his house and met the woman of his dreams. "Snow White's Cottage", that's what his friends dubbed his quaint new home.Of course, Timothy declared he was a yuppie - moving into the property owners' class. And also an Oink (remember all those acronyms so beloved of the 1980s? Dinky, of course, stood for "dual income, no kids yet", but "Oink" was definitely Timothy - "one income, no kids"!).

But then Mother called at Snow White's cottage with a basket of apples...

And the thudding noises coming from upstairs that Frank Baker heard when calling on Mrs Lumsden at her house later, in search of a suddenly missing Timothy, were not, as Mrs L said, Muriel doing her aerobics with Jane Fonda...

I won't spoil the ending, but Sorry! was a brilliant sitcom, and a few visits to the 1980s Lumsden family are a must if imaginative, high quality TV comedy is something you enjoy. 

But remember - no elbows on the table and make sure your handie-pandies are absolutely spotless before venturing in!
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